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10
Sure-Fire Ways to
Kill Your eBay
Business |
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10 Sure-fire Ways to Kill Your eBay
Business.
It's surprisingly easy to kill your eBay
business, if you're not careful - sure, you can start over
from scratch without it costing you anything, but do you
really want to? Still, if you want your business to end up
dead in the water, here are some simple ways to do
it.
Lie about an item: Say it works fine when it
sometimes doesn't work. Say it's in perfect condition when it
has a scratch. Your customers will hate you!
Post whenever you feel like it: Make sure to
leave your customers hanging around, wondering when their item
is going to turn up. This makes sure they buy from someone
else next time.
Let items end anytime: Few people will be around
to care about your auction if it ends in the middle of the
night. Why go to the trouble of working out whether auctions
will end at a good time?
Don't bother with email: Customers are just
timewasters anyway. eBay businesses are supposed to run
themselves! Never give informed responses to questions about
your item.
Sell rubbish: Really, it's just eBay. You can
just sell any old tat from the market for a 200% profit. Let
quality be someone else's concern - I mean, really, what do
they expect for that price?
Refuse to give discounts: You know what your
items cost, you know what your profit margin is going to be,
and you're not going to negotiate. Remember that giving
customers special deals might make them feel good and come
back to you again.
Make your listings ugly: As many colours,
flashing lights and animations as possible will really give
those customers a headache. Write as much in CAPITALS!!!! as
you can. Preferably big, red capitals. Be sure to use the
fonts Impact and Comic Sans. For an extra special touch, see
if you can figure out a way to add some
music.
Don't take photos: It's such trouble, after all.
If buyers are picky enough to actually want to see items
before they bid on them, then screw 'em, that's what I
say.
Write short descriptions: Be as brief as
possible, and use lots of mysterious abbreviations. This
obviously makes you look very cool. You can even just write
the title again in the description box. Think of the effort
you'll save!
Use reserve auctions: Now, this is a fairly
controversial final choice, but it really is one of the best
ways to scare away your customers. They'll see 'reserve not
yet met', and click that 'back' button before you know it.
Luckily, they can always bid in a normal auction for the item
somewhere else.
Now that you know the ten ways to kill your eBay
business, how about we explore what to do if you want to do
the opposite, and make a success of it? The next email will
give you ten steps to successful selling on
eBay.
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